“Happiness starts with you – not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with you.”
Why do some people dislike the idea of being alone? We befriend people we don’t really like, we stay in a relationship we know that’s bad for us, we spend our time doing things we don’t like just so we avoid being alone. While we don’t aim for loneliness, being alone doesn’t mean being lonely either.
When was the last time you spent time with yourself?
Spending time with ourselves help us grow and develop the relationship we have with ourselves. But why do we really need this? There are so many reasons why but my favorite is so we do not lose our self. Many people face problems because they don’t know themselves, more often than not, they discover this a little too late. We can lose ourselves in our jobs, our partners, in a situation we’re in and even in our internet persona.
So why do we need to spend more time with our self? Here’s why.
It liberates us from the overwhelming day-to-day life
We can find ourselves being overwhelmed with anything that life gives to us and sometimes, this can break us. Are you always busy? What makes you busy? Do these things make your life and your loved ones better? If today was your last day, would these things matter? Oftentimes, we do the things we do so we can have a happy life at the end, but let’s not forget that the journey is just as important as the destination.
Next time you wake up, don’t reach for your phone and open Facebook or Instagram. Instead, spend time with yourself, even for just 10 minutes of doing nothing, it will surprise you how good it is for your soul.
It allows us to keep our minds clear from clutter
What are you thinking right now? Can you hold a thought for 10 minutes without your mind wandering to another idea? I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one struggling with this. Our mind is capable of storing massive amounts of thoughts and to avoid mental burnout, we need to unload and organize them. This is why I like bringing notebooks or journals with me. I like to write my thoughts and ideas down.
It helps us learn more about ourselves
I have learned so many things about myself when I experienced things on my own. I learned that I can be independent. I learned how to solve problems on my own. I learned what I really want. I learned to decide without taking other people’s opinions. I learned to listen to myself. And the most important of all, I learned how to be happy alone. I truly believe in the saying that when we’re not happy being alone, we cannot be happy with anyone else. If only everyone embrace the fact that everything we need to be happy is already inside of us, we’d be living in a happier world.
It helps lessen anxiety
I write based on my experiences and learnings and this is one of the most important things I learned from spending time with myself. Negative thoughts gives us anxiety. And when we don’t know how to control our thoughts, it will control us. It takes a lot of practice to silence our mind and accept that our thoughts will always be there, but the secret lies in separating our self from our thoughts. Reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now was an eye opener. We cannot control the events in our lives, but we can control our thoughts that leads to actions.
It teaches us to slow down
Are you constantly distracted? When was the last time you stopped and enjoyed your surroundings? Have you been mindful in doing the things you do? Doing things mindlessly affects us more than we think. And I am guilty of this. I’m constantly practicing being more mindful in everything I do and it makes me even more grateful for all that I have. Take the time to appreciate what you have. From your bed, to your partner, to be able to move, to eating breakfast and that you woke up today.
Let me leave you with my favorite question “What if you wake up tomorrow with only the things you were grateful for today?”